trading a bad habit for a fresh anxiety
where i currently work is the most emotionally open work environment i’ve ever had. people freely hype each other up and congratulate each other, nothing is high tension, everyone is very receptive and caring. an example of that is admitting when you’re having a shit day for whatever reason and allowing yourself to peace out early and it being accepted instead of sitting in a negative feedback loop of bad productivity until 5pm. it has been extremely freeing having this positive culture at work.
however.
an unforeseen development of said example is noticing how often i actually am feeling awful and unproductive, now that i’m letting myself see it, and the realization that i’ve always just worked through it in recent years, thinking it’s just the way it is or i’m just being lazy or some other excuse. so that’s been a hard thing to process and identify into something i can hopefully action against and improve. and naturally i’ve gained a new anxiety around being seen as taking advantage of such a generous workplace – which i already know is dumb! but brains and so forth, etc.